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Overcoming Mom Guilt: Prioritizing Yourself
On today’s episode of Redefining Motherhood, I share an important topic that resonates with so many women in this community - the overwhelming guilt we feel as mothers when trying to find time for ourselves. In a recent survey, a number of respondents expressed struggling to carve out time for themselves, not because they can't fit it in, but because they feel guilty doing so.
Understanding Mom Guilt
Mom guilt is a common experience for many mothers. It often stems from the societal expectation that mothers should be ever-present, self-sacrificing, and entirely devoted to their children. This unrealistic standard can leave us feeling inadequate and guilty whenever we take time for ourselves. In a survey of mothers in my community, a recurring theme was the lack of time for oneself due to the pressure to be constantly available for their children.
The guilt many mothers feel when taking time for themselves is further compounded by observing their spouses engage in hobbies and interests outside of work and family without the same level of guilt. This discrepancy highlights the societal pressure placed on mothers to fulfill a specific role, often at the expense of their own well-being. Understanding these underlying issues is the first step towards addressing and overcoming mom guilt.
Overcoming Mom Guilt and Prioritizing Self-Care
Prioritizing self-care is crucial for maintaining our well-being and being the best versions of ourselves for our families. However, overcoming mom guilt requires a deliberate and proactive approach. One effective strategy is to schedule self-care activities just as we would any other important commitment. By setting aside dedicated time for activities that bring us joy and fulfillment, we can ensure that self-care becomes a regular part of our routine.
In my own experience, I have found that proactively scheduling meetups with friends, such as monthly brunches or happy hours, helps me set aside dedicated self-care time. These moments of connection and relaxation are vital for recharging my energy and maintaining my mental health. Additionally, finding activities that we look forward to, whether it's working out, shopping alone, or meeting a friend, can help us feel more like ourselves and less consumed by the demands of motherhood.
When guilt arises for doing something just for ourselves, it's important to remind ourselves that we are putting our "oxygen mask on first." By taking care of ourselves, we are better equipped to care for our children and meet the demands of daily life. This mindset shift can help us release feelings of guilt and embrace self-care as a necessary and valuable practice.
Guilt and Self-Care for Working Mothers
Working mothers often face additional challenges when it comes to balancing career responsibilities and family life. The guilt of taking time for oneself can be even more pronounced when juggling multiple roles. In one instance, my husband and I felt guilty about taking our son to daycare on a day off, even though we desperately needed time for ourselves. By talking through our feelings and recognizing the importance of that time alone for our mental health, we were able to alleviate some of the guilt and prioritize our well-being.
It's essential for working mothers to communicate openly with their partners about the need for self-care and to support each other in finding balance. Prioritizing self-care can prevent burnout and ensure that we are able to show up fully for both our careers and our families.
Practical Strategies for Prioritizing Self-Care
To effectively prioritize self-care, it's important to identify specific activities that bring us joy and fulfillment. Whether it's a solo workout, a quiet moment with a book, or a social outing with friends, finding activities that resonate with us can help us reconnect with ourselves and maintain our well-being. Additionally, setting boundaries and delegating tasks can create more space for self-care in our busy schedules.
One practical strategy is to audit our time and identify pockets of time that can be reallocated for self-care activities. By being intentional with our time and prioritizing self-care, we can ensure that it becomes a regular part of our routine rather than an afterthought. It's also helpful to remind ourselves that self-care is not a luxury, but a necessity for our mental and emotional health.
Listen in to the full episode here to learn more about overcoming mom guilt and prioritizing YOU.
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